A New Beginning
For the first time in years I feel as though I've been allowed up for air. It's left me with an aggravating mixture of emotions - like feeling guilty and liberated at the same time, for example. Although I think I'm justified in not wanting to elaborate on how my life has been the past 2+ years, partly out of the embarrassment I feel in confessing that a computer game broke my heart, I do feel the need to find a way to sum it up so that I can move on. I doubt I will ever fully forget this time of my life to warrant any effort toward recapping other than a few words that acknowledge that it did happen and that I was a witness to it. So, after putting a lot more thought into it than I should of while at work, this is the best that I've been able to come up with:
While it wasn't the worst of times, it was the worst of times. I allowed myself to become trapped in situations that were unhealthy for me - instances that brought out every one of my flaws and weaknesses all for the sake of doing something that I was actually pretty horrible at. I was wrong. A lot. And I completely lost track of the differences between what I want to do, what I should do, and what I have to do. I met a few wonderful people and a lot of awful people - all of which I'm sure I'll miss at one point or another as I move on. When I look back on the time that I've spent I feel as though it was stolen from me, when really all I did was give it away. Once everything finally came crashing down on me, I did the only thing that made any sense at all: I made the right decision at the wrong time.
My life has changed substantially over the past year, and is taking yet another turn with what I am writing now. It has been since November 2005, 18 months, since I have written anything that I actually intended to post. It's been longer than that since I created a new web site design to finally replace the one that displayed my ugly mug.
This is a representation of a change in the winds of my life. Hopefully it will be for the better.