And I thought I was too old for this
The past few weeks have been overflowing with frustration and depression. These 3 weeks have been filled with fights that lead to violent outbursts, thousands upon thousands of mood swings, and just a general irritability that seems to almost be radiating off of me. I've turned into who I was 5 years ago - I've reverted into a version of my father with the added bonus of occasional PMS - and I feel so lost when I try to think of how I'm supposed to calm myself down again to change back into a "normal" person. I'm also stuck in a hard place - if I try to detach myself from everything that I find myself getting frustrated at, then my analytical mind starts to slowly eat me alive. If I try to stay involved in my usual distractions then I just end up being irritable beyond belief. I'm acting like a combined version of all the people I've looked down on over the past few years, and it makes it really, really hard to deal with myself.
I cannot wait for Matt to be here. If he can stand being here. I need something calming, I need someone comforting, and above all, I need to get the hell out of this house and as far away from my computer as possible. Just for a little bit.
May 11th, 2005 - 22:08
Love you. I know exactly how you feel. When does Matt come?
I put myself on antidepressants, mainly for anxiety but also it helped with my irritability and depressive mood swings. It’s amazing how much a pill works. I kick myself in the butt for not trying it sooner.
May 12th, 2005 - 10:54
Hey Manda <3 Matt is coming on the 20th and will stay till the 6th. I’ve been considering to get some sort of medication for a while now, especially for my nerves/anxiety. All I need to do is get some health insurance and I’ll be all over trying it – anything to be less like my father. Just hoping that that opportunity will come come sooner rather than later
Thanks alot for the advice, good to know it did work for someone.