Hooplah.Org

Goodness… I put up this flashy new design and never said a word about it. Come to think of it, I did the same thing with the last layout I put up. I suppose it’s just really easy to get burnt out on uploading and making sure everything is how it should be… because I had zero urge to write at all afterwords. The idea of updating this website was more of chore this past month, so… I simply didn’t, despite all of the things that have been going on/changing in my life.

Matt was here, and it was so great; we have both agreed that it was one of the best, if not THE best, time we have ever spent together. After he left, I openly blew up in frustration in my DAoC gaming community… which I held out doing for as long as I could, considering my complete inability to keep my mouth shut about anything that I feel. Around the same time, I officially took the first step toward getting the future I want… after two years of trying so hard to fight it, I am starting online classes from Strayer University this next Monday to start working toward a CIS certification. Michelle spent a night here sometime last week, and I got to “help” her with her new computer; we went out and bought her more ram and I put it in for her. I apologized to my DAoC friends, though I am plotting to do nothing but get ML10, farm, and sell plat and eventually my beloved account in the end. Then, sometime later this year I plan on losing myself in a game I tried so hard not to get my hopes up about, but ended up giving in one evening and indulged myself silly… and that game is World of Warcraft.

Lots of changes for me, although for others they’re pretty small scale and thrill-less.

To break all of those things down, in as few words as possible to I can actually get through this entry without boring myself:

Matt’s Trip Here

Despite me feeling like total crap most of the time (literally… my IBS has been horrible for months now) it was so amazing. I think this was the first time I truly ever not self conscious around another person… for the first time I didn’t care if the face I made looked hideous. I didn’t care if what I did made me look like a complete fool. I knew I could still open my eyes afterwords and see him smiling at me, and know that even if what I did was completely and utterly strange, that on some level, if not completely, he understood what I meant. I knew he wouldn’t judge me or look at me with a “WTF” expression… he would just laugh with my silliness *with* me, not at me. That’s beautiful. That’s love. As Matt would say… the more and more time we spend together, the more it’s so obvious we’re perfect for each other. We compliment each other in every way. I honestly never thought any of this was possible… I thought there had to be frustration complications with the good, and that maybe it was necessary to live in a rut in order to appreciate the highs. It feels so indescribably good to be wrong about all of that… to be able to have it all, and to actually *know* for once… that I deserve it.

DAoC Drama

I’ve gone over this so much with the people it involves and with my RL friends… that I don’t know if I can stand to relive it again. There were certain elements that were *ruining* my enjoyment of DAoC, and a large number of those reasons were nothing but a count of all the friends I had who I knew would also be losing their enjoyment of the game due to similar reasons. And for once, these weren’t decisions made by the company who makes the game… but by the players themselves. There were decisions that were being made that excluded more people than they included. These decisions seemed to do nothing but help the stronger get stronger and the weaker get weaker, and this should never happen within a GUILD, where everyone is supposed to be helping one another. And there seemed to be a complete lack of understanding that ALL aspects of an idea, especially including the negative results, should be considered extensively before presenting an idea as if it’s the next best thing since sliced bread. Sometimes simply being excluded is enough to ruin everything.

We were encouraged to speak our minds on the presented ideas, and I did just that. Although, while most people boasted that they would accept counter opinions with compassion and help come to a better conclusion… I was mostly met with people basically saying “Here: this is why this is good. Now what about that don’t you GET?” They kept demanding I restate the same reasons over and over as an explanation to what was wrong with their idea, while they kept restating over and over all the same “positive” points as an answer to me pointing out all the negatives. Was highly frustrating to say the least, for both parties.

It got to the point where I couldn’t even log in the game, because even seeing someone giving bad/wrong advice in /gu was enough to send me into a tantrum. I was fed up with people having egos, and so many people being blind to it. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that that’s what 90% of the game was full of… people who are only out to help themselves. People who think they own the time and effort someone has invested in their character and their guild, and think they have the right to make drastic decisions and tell those people to “take it or leave it.”

Starting classes at Strayer University

Not much to say about this. I’m taking two classes this quarter, though they both count for 4.5 credit hours. They’re both online, because after talking with the counselors we decided that due to my IBS being so bad that taking asynchronous online classes would ensure that I wouldn’t have any attendance problems due to illness. I was honestly surprised when my father agreed to allowing me to attend, since the “Parent Loan” that was needed to cover the rest of the costs will start making $50/month payments 2-3 months from now. I am almost certain he cannot afford that… and though I have not told him I do not plan on working while taking these classes, I sure hope he assumes it by now. I appreciate him doing it, since I know we can barley afford it. I’m just not sure how he thinks he’s going to pay for it.

Apologized to DAoC Friends

Ironically I apologized to the necessary people on the same day that a raid was taking place that I wanted to go on. As shitty as that timing may be, it was rather on purpose. In my much needed “break” from everything, I knew that I was through with the game. I still love playing it, but the element that the RL people bring to it only frustrate me now where it used to entertain and enhance. Egos have gotten too big. Characters have gotten too strong. It’s become more and more obvious to me that DAoC wasn’t designed to be a long lasting game… they were pioneers of a new setup, and have ultimately run ashore. I don’t want to have to be RR10 ML10 and have the best gear possible to finally feel content with what I’ve accomplished. There are balance problems that will never be fixed, as there was no way for Mythic to know that people would eventually see themselves as too good for the design plan and take a more elitist, and self proclaimed “skilled” path.

Add in the fact that all the people ingame who I thought were my friends don’t seem to return the same interest in me, well… that leaves 0 reason for me to stay.

I’m being as vague and as detailed as possible. In other words, I’m making no sense. With the introduction of the new abilities today, I may hold out to see what the Frontier’s expansion may have in store. Because unlike every other power gamer out there, I actually *like* the changes… but maybe that’s because I refuse to have the same mindset that is causing most people to freak out about losing their uber RAs. In the end, if it comes down between WoW and DAoC’s Frontiers expansion… goodbye DAoC.

Speaking of WoW…

There’s not much to say about this, either. I had heard tidbits about this game, and everything that I was picking up second hand seemed interesting and fresh. I tried my best not to buy into the hype though, because after having been so drastically disappointed by SWG a year ago, I have gotten a little bit more paranoid and cautious. But… the beta for WoW started, and unlike any company I’ve heard of, they lifted the NDA at the same time. I could freely access any and all information on the official beta site. After someone made a link to it on my DAoC guild’s forum… I could not contain my curiosity any longer. I read nearly everything on that page, and instantly fell in love with it all. I fell in love with the idea of being a noob again, without having to deal with all the graved-in-stone egos yet. To be able to think the simplest thing is the coolest shit, and to be able to explore and discover all these new things with Matt. That may sound corny to some, but for MMORG’s it’s what their primarily based on: search, discover, conquer… and for me, to share it all with someone as well. This is what Matt and I can “do” together being so far apart… and I’ve missed it alot since he stopped playing DAoC. I cannot wait for this game to be released, but going by Blizzard’s standards of quality, the game will take a very long time to cook. They won’t release it until it’s ready. But in the meantime I’ll enjoy all the screenshots of precious gnomes I can find and wait patiently.