An early entry before Matt arrives tomorrow
I'm writing pretty early in the day encase I'm too busy this evening to write. So far I've already vacuumed out the truck (it needed it badly) and put the mats back in the bathroom, but I still have yet to mop the kitchen floor once more and do all the rest of the laundry I have to. THEN, I have to manage getting to sleep early enough so I can be awake at 9:30ish. For the past week or so I haven't been able to get to sleep before 5 or 6 AM no matter what I do... which always leaves me waking up at noon if I'm lucky (and actually wake up after my alarm goes off). So, blah. Matt's flight isn't even arriving until around 2PM, but I don't want to take the risk of getting stuck in holiday traffic. Well, I know I probably will, but at least not be made late by it. At least Sunday will be the less traveled day out of the 3 day weekend.
I'm always so paranoid when Matt flys here... even though I was never really comfortable with air travel, I've been just terrified of planes crashing since 911. Not by the works of some crazy terrorist, but just crashing for some sort of failure or accident. I hate thinking of it because I honestly believe that means it may happen if I think about it to much. And I know how silly that is. It's odd that I can understand something is silly but still believe it anywap alHeh... maybe that's what religion's all about 
And, of course, there is now a "code orange" in effect. Of course. I don't know why I would get jittery about it now since all the other times I just scoffed at it... but those times I wasn't going to an airport, in DC, to pick up a loved one 
Why does the world have to be so fucked up and hateful that fears like this have no other choice but to exist.
I'm sure he'll be fine. He'll be totally fine. He'll be in my arms a little more than 24 hours from now and it'll all be alright and happy for two straight weeks.
I had some dreams about Matt's trip last night. The first one... can't remember any details, but somewhere along the line Matt turned into Alan and then I asked Alan to leave The second one involved some trouble with Matt getting through the door of my house... not that he couldn't fit, but like him standing at the door was symbolic to him traveling here, or something... then we came inside and I showed him "our babies" (the baby axies) and I don't remember anything else. It's odd that I dreamed about it, though... I've never dreamed about someone visiting me before. Maybe this trip will be special. I'm going to try to be different and more loving, so maybe it will be. Hopefully it will 
This morning my computer was freezing up. I couldn't figure out why... just any program or anything I tried to open would have illegal operations or just not load. We had another of those little power blinks earlier this morning, and I'm not sure what that had to do with it since all it did was make my computer restart... but luckily I was able to get into safemood and reset my computer to yesterday morning, even though it also took forever for the system restore program to open. I'm somewhat worried about a computer virus, but maybe Matt can fix it when he's here
I had wanted to do the Friday Five, but I went through all of yesterday honestly thinking it was Thursday... even though I knew when Matt was arriving on Sunday. Brain fart, I guess. I was busy cleaning the bathroom and changing out my winter clothes for summer to really worry about it. I also successfully forgot to go to the bank (because I forgot hours were different on Saturday... because I planned on today being Friday and my father actually started to scold me about it. When I told him no, he was like "you have to think of these things," which is the same speech is always gives, even if I do remember. I had snapped back at him "Well, I've been too busy cleaning every fucking thing to remember to do it, I forgot." He offered me some money and I may take it... I'd hate to depend on Matt for money This whole trip is going to be funded by him anyway, I'd hate to just add something to the list I wish Dianna had just given me a job and not stringed me along... hell, it was the last time he was here that I decided I would contact her about the job, and almost three months later there's still no word.
I still haven't contacted her yet since I was supposed to on the 15th... I've just been forgetting because of all the cleaning. And besides, it's not like she's contacting me about it, which isn't at all hopeful... I know she's probably really busy, but why would she make an offer to me and talk it up so much when she isn't even really keeping track of my interest in it. I figure I've given her plenty of time to talk to that Mr. Lee person about the job, but most likely she hasn't or has forgotten... and she'll tell me "We've just been so busy!" Ugh :ehh:
But anyway. Must think happy thoughts. I so want to lay down and get some more sleep, but I've got to stay awake so I'll actually want to sleep when I have to tonight. Blah blah blah