Hooplah.Org

Both me and my mother were sitting at the kitchen table, talking and eating some of the fried chicken she was making for dinner while another batch was cooking in the frying pan. While we were talking, I brought up how I remembered that she wouldn’t buy me a black Barbie doll when I asked for one in Wal-Mart when I was about 8 or so, yet she bought me a white one instead. I asked her why she hadn’t and she responded, “because I would have never heard the end of it.” Meaning, my father would have bitched and complained, because he’s so racist that he doesn’t even want his daughter owning a doll of another race. When I was older, like 12 – 15, he even got fussy when I listened to music by black artists… my mother would always tell me to hide the CD covers from him so he would never know. And I did hide them… I know it would have been the cool rebellious, alng to do to leave them out so he could find them and see, and I thought about doing it sometimes, but I knew what would happen. He would only start a horrible argument, full of insults and threats of physical violence (or maybe just skip the threats and actually do it)… and when it was all over, he just would think he got his racist point across to me, and not the other way around.

My mother and I talked a little bit more about it… memories of how I wasn’t allowed to have my black friends over to my house because people in LOW “didn’t want their kind around here” (which my father actually did say, word for word… he told me that when I was 9). Sometimes I just can’t believe the blind intolerance people can possess, and not even realize how petty and idiotic it is. There was a long pause between me and my mother, and then I said “I’m glad I turned out the way I did. I am so thankful that I didn’t end up being a racist pric.”

My mother simply responded, “You’re welcome.”

Yesterday it was 80 degrees, humid and sticky, and the day closed with a typical evening thunderstorm. Last night, the temperature dropped dramatically, which ultimately caused it to actually snow this morning. Besides the fact that it snowing itself was beyond odd, the actual snowflakes were peculiar… they were big, fat snowflakes, and ever once in a while there would be a huge raindrop that would hit. It ended up making the snow look like it had been hit with lots of little tiny asteroids. Even the way it collected on the ground was strange, with some areas with no accumulations, while others with big patches. I’d say it snowed 2 inches total, though it melted throughout the day, even while it was still snowing. All of the new spring flowers that were coming up are probably dead now, poor things. (View Pictures).

This morning I got woken up at 9AM by my parents arguing. My mother didn’t want to go to work… they were calling for 3-6 inches, and she didn’t feel comfortable driving all the way out into Fredericksburg and run the risk of getting in an accident and stranded there. My father, though, wanted her to go to work because she gets paid time and 1/2 today, which is ultimately all he cares about. He believes because he watches the weatht wahannel, that that makes him able to say what the weather will and will not do. He told her that it wouldn’t accumulate at all, that the roads would be clear, and that he knew the only reason why she was thinking of calling in was just because she was “lazy” and didn’t want to go to work. Oh, heavens no, how could it be possible that she would actually be uncomfortable in driving in poor weather conditions. My father always snaps back that he’d offer to drive… but really, who would feel more comfortable with a 1/2 blind old man at the wheel? Besides, it’s the other people you can’t trust on the road, not yourself. My mother did end up going to work, and getting back alright. But, on the way in, she said there were alot of rescue vehicles around. Never know… if she had been early or late to work, one of them could have been coming for her. I just hate how my father has no problem making my mother risk something she’s not comfortable with for the sake of money. Not everyone is like him; obsessed and will do anything someone tells them as long as they get paid for it.

While they were arguing, I just sat in bed listening, getting more and more pissed at my father (because if it weren’t for him, or his loud voice, I’d still be asleep). Then, after my mother left, one of my father’s stupid friends called (correction, the only friend he talks to… I liked it alot better when no one ever called him) and he sat in the chair at the end of the hallway (aka, the place where I could hear him the most) and talked to his friend about the weather and how he had to push my mother out of the door, laughing all the while. They talked for 40 minutes, and 1/2 way through that time, I officially gave up on trying to get back to sleep.

When I came out into the living room for some food, he actually started talking to me about it. I told him, “I know, you both woke me up with your arguing.” He kept going on and on, until finally I stopped him and said “Don’t talk to me as if I agree with you.” And, of course, I had to repeat myself 3 times, because you can’t speak too fast around my father… he’s both deaf and slow, so it takes him a while. A whole nother reason why communicating with him isn’t worth it unless you’re telling him what an ass he is…

/endrant.

Matt’s at his grandparent’s house. Hope he’s having a nice home cooked meal right now. I fell asleep soon after he logged on AIM this morning (and so did he, so I don’t feel that bad about it, though I wish I had told him first anyway) though I was still asleep when he left to go. So, I spent all day in the kitchen hanging with my mother… I swept and mopped the kitchen floor, vacuumed the living room, picked up my room, and got some of my laundry going. Odd that I do spring cleaning on the one winter day in the mess of all the borderline summer days we’ve been having.

The weather was going so great… nice 70-80 degree weather filled with cool breezes and gentle sun. But, no… that couldn’t last. Humidity has now struck the region, which means thick, stagnant air, burning sun, and daily thunderstorms in the evening. I do love the thunderstorms, but not so much what you have to go through to get them… I’d rather be in Arizona with than here in the summer. Humidity is one of my biggest loathes.

Dianna still hasn’t called me about the job. From what my father tells me, she said she still hasn’t gotten a chance to sit down with this Mr. Lee and really work out the details. I’m getting to the point where I’m starting to lose my patience… I don’t know why they couldn’t have met by now, or why it’s such a big deal for him to physically be there with her while they decide when I work and what I get paid – it’s not like I’m going to be there for an on the spot interview (or, at least, I haven’t been told of one) so I don’t really understand the holdup… but I respect it, anyway. Not like I really have much of a choice to do anything other than that, so why not.

I’ve still been trying to work out a new layout, with the hopes of including some flash with it too, but it’s proving to be more difficult than needed. Nothing seems to look as good as it does in my mind, or come out as good even when I do it correctly. It’s disappointing that I did all that vectoring for nothing… course, I could make some cute wallpapers with it, probably. And there might still be hope for it, later, if something else to try comes to mind…

I went out with Stephen on Wednesday. I actually had the guts to call him first, and on his cell phone no less (I’m usually pretty paranoid about calling people, especially on cell phones, so that shows the significance of that). He wasn’t there at the time, but he called back sometime around 5ish I think. I was already ready to go, so we decided to meet at our “regular” PizzaHut by the mall, since even though I had just had dinner, Stephen had not eaten yet. We did our usual thing – talked about everything that came to mind, usually talking about sex or perverted things, and not really caring if there were children or other people nearby. After that, we went to the movie theater across the street. I had told him I was interested in seeing the movie Dreamcatcher, only because I had read the book 2 summers ago (I think I was actually reading it when I was on vacation with Stephen’s family, since he said he remembered me maybe having the book with me) and was interested in seeing how the movie would turn out. Honestly, I wasn’t expecting much, since most Stephen King books to movies are never really all that good… but Dreamcatcher certainly had it’s moments. It captured alot of the humor, and definitely did good with the horror parts (even though Stephen thought they were “soft” because they didn’t really show all that much gore and what not). The only thing I didn’t like was the way they built up the backstory, from when the main characters were children. There were two parts I think they made up, too… like I don’t remember the 5 of them actually making a dreamcatcher, like they said they did in the movie. Also, I think they made up the ending as well, which I was unhappy about. But, overall… horror part of the movie = good, everything else = below average.

After we left the movie, we drove back to the PizzaHut parking lot, since that’s where Stephen’s car was parked. We ended up talking for alot longer while sitting there… I was sort of in my old “groove” then, so it was like the conversations we used to have while we were still in high school (“He is a hunk!” “Hunk of what?” “Hunk of man-flesh” “Oh.”) Eventually, I realized I was hungry again, so I asked Stephen if we could go back inside so I could eat this time. They ended up not having any personal pan pizzas (WTF? I hate it when they always run out of those..) so they gave us a medium pizza instead, with some free cinnamon sticks to boot. I liked the pizza, but after a while, the sauce got to me… I used to LOVE PizzaHut pizza, but they changed something…. now when I eat it, the sauce ends up tasting like some strong chemical in my mouth, like nail polish remover. It’s really disappointing ;( I’m hoping it’s only this PizzaHut that’s ruined their pizza, and not all the others… because then I would officially hate pizza from everywhere :ehh:

After we left (since it was getting late, and we got the impression that they wanted us to leave so they could close..) we talked for a little longer while in Stephen’s car. At about 12AM, Stephen hugged me and said he had to go. I felt bad for keeping him out so late, but he didn’t seem to mind all that much.

The way home that night was creepy. It had rained alot earlier on my way into town (while driving into Fredericksburg I had actually used the rain on the driver side window to finally clean the windshield of all the damn smoke residue that was still there from my mother smoking while driving… I couldn’t stand coming home at night again and having all the lights smudged and blurred, ugh) and how it was very foggy. I had actually stopped on my way out of Fredericksburg to take some pictures of it, but was only able to get two pictures before my camera died. Which was a shame, because later on while driving I passed the Church and the cemetery on Rt3… it had a orange-ish light shining over the area. I would have stopped and taken a picture of it, and maybe even a picture of the graves (even though that would have spooked the hell out of me). After I had passed the church, I looked in my rear view and noticed that the orange light that was there was actually reflecting off of the fog way into the air, making it look like a sunset on a black sky. But, anyway.. other than that, the ride home scared the hell out of me. I couldn’t see more than 5 feet in front of the car because the fog was so thick, and I kept worrying that something or someone would be in the road and I would hit them by accident. I’m an expert at freaking myself out over silly things.

Then, on Thursday, I read Matt’s journal, and how it mentioned that he would like me to play AC2 with him. I thought about it, and decided, why not… he always does sweet things for me, it’s about time I did something for him. I had tried to get out of the house before he got back from class, but he came back just as I was about to leave. I told him I had to go pick something up, and that I’d be back in an hour. I drove all the way to Best Buy and back in about 75 minutes. When he asked me where I had gone, I told him I had gone to pick up some shoes for my mother (since that was the best excuse I could come up with on the way home). I had tried to be really cute about it, trying to use clues from his journal to figure out which server he was on, so that I could just log in and say hi to him. But I had picked the wrong server, and by the time I had gotten everything figured out he had logged off… so I basically had to tell him to log in on a new server because he “might know someone there.”

I’ve been playing the game with him off and on since then… and it’s alright, I guess. There are alot of things I don’t like about it, but it’s really pointless to go over them now (since I always tell Matt everytime there’s something I don’t like, which I’m sure he probably doesn’t like very much, but it just flies out of my mouth too quick to stop it :ehh:). I don’t like games that are really “graphicie”… meaning, I don’t like alot of pointless shit. Like with this game, as you’re zoning, it has this stupid tunnel animation… which, to me, would look better if they just had a black screen that said “loading” like daoc. Basically, games that obviously try too hard to impress bother me… and AC2 sort of fits in that category with me. It’s sorta fun, and everything, but I get the feeling I’m not playing right. I don’t know how to spec my char, and I don’t more than 1/2 of the game controls (and can’t bring myself to read up on it and learn them). But, blah… the best part of it is being able to do stuff with Matt, and knowing that he’s enjoying it. I still have the one month free… but I don’t know if I’ll actually want to start paying for it once that one month is up. Still depends… I’m not totally writing off the game just yet.

Anyway… I can’t stand to type anymore, because I keep making stupid typos because my nails have gotten too long Can’t stand that. My writing was probably really crappy as well, but I don’t feel like reading through and correcting any of it.

Ugh. Haven’t written in a while… just have not really felt the urge to type. I think that’s the longest streak that I’ve gone without writing since I’ve started again, except for anytime that I’ve had visitors. While I haven’t been writing, I’ve been watching TV or taking Jazzy outside on her leash because it’s been great weather (like 70-80 every day, just perfect), or just… relaxing, basically. Though, the past two days or so have been spent trying to make a new layout. Unfortunately, even though I put alot of work into it, I don’t think I will be using it. I haven’t even finished it yet, and I already feel like it’s a wasted effort, which is the actual problem… I don’t think there’s anything I can do to it to make it perfect enough for me to want to replace this layout with it. Shame, too… the layout-to-be was pixely and cute and springy. Maybe sometime soon I’ll wake up with a cure to fix whatever is plaguing it’s incompleteness, but until then, this layout may hang around for another month or so.

My eBay auction for my DAoC account ended last night. I got $385 for it, which isn’t bad at all; just a little shy of what that buyout offer had been before they discovered that I didn’t have the secret word and dropped their offering price. Strangely enough, the person that was offering the high buyout offer suddenly lost interest when I told him that since he lowered his buyout offer to what everyone else had been offering, and that I thought in all fairness everyone should just bid on the auction like normal and see who gets it that way. It was as if he only wanted it when he had an upper hand (and unfair) advantage… hrm, oh well, his loss really. The person that actually won the auction was really nice and polite, which was a nice surprise. The poor guy had been scammed before when he had bid on a DAoC account before, so he made a few little requests to make sure everything I had in the auction was legit before he sent the money over, which was fine. I got Matt to log in on my chars for him, and when he approved that everything was honest, he sent me the money.

Someone actually tried to scam the login and password from me. A 1/2 hour before the auction ended, someone posing as the auction winner e-mailed me saying that after I received the payment either that night or the next day, to send them the info at that address, since the other e-mail was his business/paypal e-mail… riiiiiight… I got in an e-mail argument with him today, calling him the crock and the mother fucker that he was, and he got fresh with me… so I replied with something snotty and blocked him. People who try to scam honest people, and in truth ruin this world from being a good place, make me sick.

Anyway… I had not really felt like writing. All this week I’ve been posting nothing but snippets and silly things, just to be updating… Which, of course, was the same time my site was reviewed. I’m happy it was reviewed (first time I’ve had my site reviewed in many years) and I’m happy I got a pretty good score. The condition of this journal was just bad timing on my part, though. Wasn’t a very wordy week, and it showed. I highly respect her opinion, because that is what she saw here, and I have been posting very blog-ish lately. I really don’t much care for blogs, either, so it’s good influence to stop posting cute little entries that I should have gotten out of my system when I was 16.

I feel dazed.

I thought I would take a couple of quizzes this morning, because I found a site that had a few of them on their blog… but after taking the first one, I’ve sort of lost my momentum.