No Title Given
I think my stomach is messing up for the first time since I've been here. It's just with the stress I got today from Jenn and stuff... The reason why I'm up to late was because I helped the girl next door move down the hall (they were being de-trippled) and I mentioned to Serita that I would probably be doing this in a couple of weeks... And that's when she found out that I "knew about Jenn." Even the way she said it, I knew they had known about it, which I wasn't surprised about. Jenn seems like she could be a complainer, I guess. I had a feeling that everyone in the hall probably already got the impression that I was.. Well, everything she said, because I'm not even really sure. Serita and Kelly both assured that it wasn't me, but her, which made me feel a lot better. I was feeling like crap all day.
This afternoon, when I was walking by the little RA powwow room, I overheard Meranda talking, and from what I heard, I instantly knew it was about what Jenn had told her. And I found out then that she lied about me. Saying that I ate all of her food and offered it to other people, and that I went threw her desk and didn't respect her stuff. I was like, fucking jesus, and snuck off to my room. I was going to write her an e-mail, since I'm almost too scared to talk to her in person about it. Just the way she brushed it off earlier, the way she has not tried to fix the problem herself by talking, and the cold shoulder she's been giving me in general, anyway... Kelly and Serita both said it was just that she likes to party too much, which is very true. She thinks I'm a little wench because I want people out of the room at a certain time, which is very true. But Jenn has never asked me why - only assumed that I liked to ruin her fun, or something. It's because I grew up in a house where everyone had to be out of the house by 8PM, because that's when my parents went to bed. After 8PM, I had to tiptoe around the house, because if I woke my parents up by making too much noise, my father would yell at me, or, when I was little, beat me. I refuse to call what he did a "spanking", because there was no lesson to be learned from it and he only did it to get rid of his anger. But, anyway, that's the environment. And I "allow" her to have people in the room past 8... it's just when 10 and 11 start creeping around that I get a little antsy. Especially if it's guys in the room, because they were to be gone even before 8 - as soon as my parents could get them gone. It bothers me most that even though I really don't want to talk about it, she didn't even try... Just decided to spout lies about me and get her way. Earlier, when I was suffering with wanting to say something at a quiet moment about her wanting to move, I finally broke the silence and said, "I wish you had told me about you wanting to move out before we got the posters." She asked, "Why?" And I said, simply, "You order posters with friends, not people who don't like you." I'm not sure of her exact response, but it meant this, "I like you, you're still my friend, I just don't want to live with you."
It almost makes me cry.
But it's probably just my stomach.