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Ok, I lied. I don't want to write; I need to do my homework instead. But, for updating purposes, I'm going on a date tonight. I'll babble about that later... This morning, my parents finally got a hotel room. For when we go to Lynchburg on Saturday. The last thing I want to do is wake up at 3 AM so we could be there at 8 AM, so we're staying over Friday night at a hotel in Lynchburg. Going to dinner, too. I'm looking forward to it.
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I have such a head ache. And my eyes hurt... They're so tired and heavy that they hurt. I don't know why I'm staying up. I get to leave late tomorrow, so maybe I'll write then. If you have a problem with that, eat me. :[. Goodnight.
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Around 5:50 this morning I decided that I would sleep in until 7:30. I had had a restless sleep last night, and the one time when I had actually gotten into a somewhat stable sleep, my mother started blow drying her hair down the hall. I wouldn't have been able to do anything with Mr Dahl to day, anyway. I have to work this afternoon, so I'd have no time to work on anything. Mondays are bad, period, and I only have one question for him. I have enough things to worry about, like finding a time to take my algebra 2 test with Mr Paschall. And the Germanna bullshit, as well.
My weekend kind of sucked. I'd have to say that the SAT's were a high point in the past 48 hours. Saturday afternoon, I was supposed to meet Sandy at the movie theater to see Sugar and Spice. I left about a quarter till 6, and got there at about 7:20 or so, because of the traffic. I had forgotten that the parking lot would be completely full before I pulled into it, so I had to circulate threw the very, very slow traffic of the parking lot so that I could pull back out on the road and park across the street. By this time it was 7:23, and I parked and ran across the parking lot to the cross walk. When it turned walk, I ran across the road and threw the front door. I started looking around calmly at first, because I didn't really think she would go in without me. I looked around for about 10 minutes, checking and rechecking all the places I had before. Eventually, I sat down on a bench in a place where I could see her come in. I honestly believed that her parents just kept her longer at dinner, or that she got caught in traffic like me, or she didn't know where to park when the parking lot was full. For the next 20 minutes, I spent it standing outside and sitting inside, waiting. Eventually, I decided that I wasn't going to wait anymore, because the movie had already been on for a 1/2 an hour. I bought my ticket for "Save the Last Dance" because it was the only movie showing at 7:50. I was determined that I would watch a movie since I was there. In my mind, I was still thinking she hadn't arrived yet. I just couldn't believe that she would go into the movie without me. I watched the movie a little unconcerned. It was the first time I had ever gone to a movie by myself, sitting there with my small popcorn and mountain dew. It was a good movie, and I was glad I watched it. On my way out, I saw Mike, which was nice. Most of the people from my school were just going in to see movies, while I was ready to go home. I talked to Mike some, about work and SAT's. Only because he's such a hottie. When I was leaving, I took another look around the parking lot, thinking that maybe she would be out there.
When I got home, Sandy was online. This is how the conversation went:
CHRlSY: What happened?
SKayeC16: what do you mean? I was there at 6:45 and waited outside until 7:20
CHRlSY: I arrived at 7:20.
SKayeC16: I went inside at 7:20 because I figured you weren't going to come
CHRlSY: Why would I ever do that?
CHRlSY: Why would you think I would do that?
SKayeC16: I don't know. I just figured you weren't going to come since it was already 7:20 when I went in and the movie started at 7:25
CHRlSY: I didn't need anything to eat, and I hit every stop light.
SKayeC16: well I wasn't going to wait until after the movie had started to go in and I thought you were going to be there at 7.
CHRlSY: I never said that.
CHRlSY: But whatever.
CHRlSY: I tried to be there, so don't make me out to be a bad person because of it.
CHRlSY: I'll give you the 7 dollars back.
CHRlSY: And I'm sorry.
SKayeC16: whatever. It doesn't matter. It's over and done with.
CHRlSY: Yep.
So, obviously, we're not happy with each other at the moment.
Sunday started out really boring. I woke up early, and played the Sims, and what not. Real fun stuff. Then, sometime in the middle of the day, Adam IMed me; Adam's pretty cool. We talked a lot about his own weekend and everything. We talked about our crappy weekends. He also spoke of Alan some, which was what really threw me off. He mentioned that he had picked up a girl for Alan. I politely told Adam that he probably shouldn't be telling me that, and he apologized. Obviously, that really hit me wrong. I'm assuming it would anyone. There's just something about me that will always be tweaked at the thought of someone I once had interest in being with someone else. I had to get used to it with Carl, and it still look months. But I was more prepared for that than I was with the whole thing about Alan. My chest filled up with that awful nervous feeling. I've gotten to despise that feeling. It just swells up in me so much that I almost can't breathe. I felt emotionally beat up. But we kept talking, and still sort of stayed with the topic of Alan. I told Adam that him and Alan seemed very different, and he agreed. And their differences seem to be their strong points; Adam said Alan had told him that he was one of the few people that challenged him. For some reason, I was just smacked with a jealous feeling because of that. Alan always held our differences against me. Why was Adam a challenge, and be a burden? I was beginning to sink a little. Situations like this were the things I was trying to avoid by excluding Alan from my life. When I ponder what I could do to fix the situation, I end up staring straight forward with a blank expression. I think I may be going numb. Especially after what I did this afternoon.
I started to talk to Alan. He was completely ignoring me. And, well, since I saved the conversation, I guess I might as well post it, too.
Spiffy2542: hello..
LeturnoAl: hi.
Spiffy2542: How are you?
LeturnoAl: good, good.
Spiffy2542: That's good..
Spiffy2542: ... I'm good, too.
Spiffy2542: I took SAT's on Saturday. I think I did ok.
Spiffy2542: I guess you're busy.
Spiffy2542: Did you have a good weekend?
LeturnoAl: yep.
LeturnoAl: i went bowling.
LeturnoAl: and hung out with some chics.
Spiffy2542: I know.
LeturnoAl: and i just got news about the store i am opening.
Spiffy2542: Good news?
LeturnoAl: yep.
Spiffy2542: ... Alright...
Spiffy2542: You're not much for talking to me, are you.
LeturnoAl: i am at work, and extremely busy.
Spiffy2542: right, right..
LeturnoAl: we found a great building in Salem, IN for the store to be placed.
LeturnoAl: was the good news.
Spiffy2542: That is good news 
Hopefully it's a good neighborhood with no competition.
Spiffy2542: I love you. And I miss your voice. I just thought you might want to know that. If nothing else, that kind of stuff usually makes people feel better about themselves, right. You're the only person that I know of that might care about that, so.
LeturnoAl: i miss certain things, Chrisy, but not a lot of others. that is the only way i know how to respond to that.
Spiffy2542: I agree with you
Spiffy2542: It was more like a compliment.
Spiffy2542: I was just saying.
Spiffy2542: But, out of curiosity, if I moved there, would it be different?
Spiffy2542: You can easily say no... Remember, it's just out of curiosity.
LeturnoAl: why would you move here. ? ? ?
Spiffy2542: For you, obviously. But, really though, would it?
Spiffy2542: Oh well. It was just a thought.
LeturnoAl: i am busy.
Spiffy2542: I know.
The conversation went by very slowly, with him taking a while to respond. He was at work, after all. But he completely dismissed me after the last part. Which is alright. I am glad he didn't answer. I wasn't thinking very quickly. Brian said I must have a masochistic streak. I probably do. The only good thing that came from that conversation was that I got rid of the thick nervous feeling in my chest. I guess that comes from writing in a journal all the time; I instantly feel better when I tell someone something. Keeping things in have become a disease to me. It feels good to always have a way to feel better.
I've got to put shoes on and to go school. Bye.
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I've had a head ache for the majority of the day. I basically did nothing. But it was still an adnormal day. I have to work tomorrow night, so, uhm... I'll write about it sometime later.
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I'm really frustrated today. Ironically, it has nothing to do with the events of last night, but I don't feel like speaking of that particular thing.
I get inspired to create web sites by seeing what someone else has created. It makes me want to try to what they did, but better. Something like that. Today I stumbled across tons and tons of designs that would inspire me. But I e-mailed Mr Dahl today, apologizing for last week, and saying I'd give him a design by this Wednesday. I simply don't think I can. Mr Dahl would probably be more open to a site that was more main stream, like microsoft.com, while I am more interested in an artsy design, like k10k.net. I have an extremely hard time to come up with layouts; it usually takes me weeks. And he'll probably still expect to see more than one layout from me. One is pushing it. I wish I didn't have to deal with this extra stress right now. Maybe I'll have to tell him that I can't.