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I need some new content to read on the internet. Someone whom I know updates every single freaking day, or just about. I have so many blog and journals that I just love to read, but they are updated so rarely. I also push myself through them to read them, because my want to know what they wrote is that bad. Hmm. Some people don't know what loyal fans they have, huh?
I feel so drained lately. For the past 4-5 weeks, I have been excitingly happy in school, when it usually would leave me like I am now. I have no idea what I have been on, or how long I will be like this. I seem to be admiring "popular" people more for some reason lately, and maybe that has me down. Maybe it's my school work in general. Maybe the glam of senior year has already lost it's touch.
I don't like talking about it, for some reason.
I had a psychology test today. I knew the majority of the answers. Well, sort of. I read over the 50 question notes a few times, and a lot of the things that I found exceptionally interesting/exciting I remembered, and I did not even have to finish the question to know the answer. Others, I am pretty sure I was able to figure out the best common sense answer. Our teacher told us before the test, "I said everyone in this class would be getting an A or a B. So, say the whole class gets a 20. I'll do statistics, and bring everyone up to an A." My Psychology teacher is cool.
Ugh... I'm not in the mood to write right now. I'm off to find some decent blogs/journals. Something eye appealing, as well.
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I have been WANTING a change for so long, and I finally did it. I was so sick of the blue and orange. I get enough of those colors at my high school. I wanted something with grey in it. Although, I am just realizing that there is a lot of pink in this layout, which goes along with the theme of the rest of my site. It wasn't planned. I suppose I just have a subconscious urge to have pink layouts. 
I mean, I did wait about 6 months to finally make one... I'm still on a pink high, I suppose.
I have no idea if anyone else reads this other than my friends, but I hope the change of layout doesn't scare any readers away. I like being noticed; I think that's what I strive for in every situation, just so I can feel eyes on me. Does that sound sick? Possibly.
I got the notes from Lindsay this morning. I waited outside the band room, quietly, until she finished talking to the school's music teacher. It was a weird scene: the room was empty other than her, him, and a girl playing the piano. I listened to the girl as I waited, and did everything but look into the room, so that when she noticed me, I wouldn't be gawking at her. After about 10 minutes, which I did not mind, she came over to me, asking how long I had been standing there. "Oh, not long." I got the notes, and I walked her to class, which was on the way to mine. I spent the majority of the day frantically copying down the notes during class, which none of my teachers seemed to mind. Surprisingly, I got a lot out of what I had been copying down, and was still with the class. I seem to be getting better at this whole school thing all of a sudden. About fucking time.
I finished the notes when I got home, and hoped in my car around 4 o'clock. I forgot the way to Lindsay's house, and was guessing. I eventually decided I had gone too far on the main road, and on my way back, I passed her car. I only realized it was her because she waved. She turned around, and I turned around, and we passed each other again. I nearly hit a car while I was turned around, gawking at her pumper stickers, seeing if I knew them to be hers. I almost hit a car, but they didn't honk. I turned around again, went down the road that I originally thought might be hers, and found her in her drive way. I gave her the notes, then left.
My life is so eventful.
So, uhm. Yeah. I have so much I want to write about. I'm not writing enough lately. My days are eventful, and I want to preserve feelings and events, and a lot of those have been passing me by, becoming victim to my horrible memory. Maybe it's because I don't have the energy to type it out. Maybe I'm too impatient. Maybe I spend too much time analyzing the problem, instead of solving it.
We had a college essay to write in English, which I did not turn in a rough draft for, but turned into a final draft. I got the paper back today, with a big 100 on it. She wrote very pleasing comments on it. I wish I could talk to my English teacher online. I have her screen name on my buddy list, because she gave her AOL address on our class outline, but... I don't know. I'm so timid. She always makes eye contact with me during class, and I am not sure if that means she considers me something friendly or just a good student. One of these days I'll give her a "Hi Mss. Z" message, and try to start a quick conversation with her. If I had my chemistry teacher's instant message name/program, I'd do the same with her. Hell, with all of my teachers. I'm very pleased with the teachers I have... Even my history teacher, who has yet to learn that he should have a written copy of all the notes he delivers, or at least write them all on something while he talks, instead of standing up there and talking. It's a general class man, they're not going to do more then they have to. I'm going to talk to him about that.
I'm exhausted. Goodnight.
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What? What are you looking at? Haven't you ever seen a new layout before...
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I hate it when things are not going right. It causes stress, which is something I do not need. I have this stress do to the reactions of missing school last Thursday. I have currently lost my lab test for Chemistry, and I'm going to have to timidly ask for another sheet, if she'll give me one. Also, last Thursday was a horrible day to miss for my college class, Psychology, because he went over all the questions on the test, one after another, giving correct answers and everything. Lindsay has a copy, and I've already talked to her about copying them, but I seem to have lost her phone number, and I didn't want to call Carl to get it. Now, I have to see if I can track her down this morning, before second period. Which means I may have to leave a little early. Fuck.
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I am way too spiteful. When someone does something I do not like, I honestly do not want to be happy in any way or form to that person, until they apologize for whatever has made me angry. I always do. Today, my mother refused to let me take $200 of MY money to buy a new USB zip disk that I need very badly (my parallel port one freezes my computer like a bitch), and my mother first gave the impression that she understood why I needed the zip disk, yet when I asked her if she had taken $200 out of my cash stash right as we're walking out the door, she says she didn't, and that she already told me "no." Fuck that shit. We didn't go anywhere today, not even to look for a new coat for me, which was the whole purpose of going to town. I was bitchy and snobby to her for the rest of the day, which I believe I had every right. I didn't want to be, but my pride is a bigger part of me than my compassionate side.
But, I have moved my cash stash away from where my parents know where it is, so I now have control of it. It was supposed to be car money, but obviously my father has no intention of fulfilling his promise anytime soon. My mother got a car instead of me, and she didn't even need one. So, I will use the money that I worked for as I please from now on, and I'll save it if I want to.
I have homework still. I hate waiting until the last minute, and I can tell by my current actions, I just may not do it. I cannot stand the homework load I am getting from Chemistry. She always repeats that it's a college prep course, yet, I was informed that that was the only version of chemistry that was available to me. So, I have all general classes, and one big, fat, honors class sitting in the middle, completely weighing me down. I don't understand why an honors class involves more worksheets than a general class? You'd think the general class would need it more.
I believe I am smart enough for honors, or at least academic class, but I am not willing to complete the work load. It seems useless to me. I don't understand; it seems like it should be the other way around. But oh well. It's one of those "when I become ruler of all the world" type of things.
I made a very weak effort at creating a new layout today, as well as cleaning my room. I need a new layout for this blog. I want something more conservative, or something more mature. Something, but not this. It's been up for a while. A change wouldn't hurt anything.