No Title Given
Today sucked. In the morning, I had psychology, and we got our tests back. I received something like a 83 or an 85. I thought I did good considering my process of how I learn things, and the fact that I only had less than 24 hours to study the information, well everyone else had had since the previous Thursday. I did feel ok about my grade, and was happy I did not fail. That was, until I heard what everyone else in the class got. Lindsay got 100, or possibly higher. Mary got a 115. Another girl got a perfect score, a 118. Basically, everyone got higher than a B. And there I was, sitting there, with a C paper.
Well, at the time, I was not really bothered. I knew I couldn't have done the worst in the class. But, well, assumptions are bad things to make, which I should be fully aware of. At the end of class, with my teacher gave the class some time to talk about a presentation we had to do next Tuesday, and he called my name, asking me to come up front. He asked me if I understood everything he was saying in class. I was not bothered by that question immediately, and explained by whole theory about not having as long to study, and what not. Then I thought about it more. I thought about how he would always comment on how the class had such challenging schedules, while I did not. I thought about just how smart everyone else in that class was, except me. I began to feel dumb. Too dumb for the class.
A big part of my self confidence is that I consider myself smart. I say I am smart. When in reality, I may not be. It makes me feel stupid for saying anything about my intelligence. It makes me feel stupid to say to Lindsay that I couldn't do school work with some of our friends, because they would give "unsmart" answers... And what Lindsay must have secretly thought about my intelligence when I said that. Or the way Stephen would try to encourage me about how I really could understand my Chemistry class, but it sounded as if he was really talking to a small child.
I felt, and feel, stupid. I feel stupid about being stupid. The last thing I wanted was to be was like my parents, but I am. I guess I'll have to work on accepting that.
No Title Given
Ooohh my deary goodness. After a year of waiting, I am up again for getting real's web page contest. Please vote for me; I so wanna win 
No Title Given
Ooooo... I got a nice comment and link from this blog, which is rather pretty itself. Heh, they like my hair 
No Title Given
I spent my afternoon out shopping in Fredericksburg, which I really could have done without. When I got home from school, I had a huge fight with my parents over money and my car (which I shall never get), and then we left for town. I bought a new zip disk, a 250MB one. The little engine sounds like a new sports car. Well, an old new sports car, if that makes sense.
Tomorrow we take the senior group picture, which I am paying $18 to get the two foot version of. Then there's a mandatory senior meeting meeting Friday morning at 9:15, and home coming week is next week. What does that mean? It means each day will be a spirit day, which I regularly participate in. Monday is pajama day, which I will show up clad in some flannel pajamas. Yeah.
I'm just not in the mood to write. I want to sign offline. And I think I will.
No Title Given
I just discovered this girl's kind link back to my page today, though my refer hits. I read her entry for today, and I feel so bad for her; I doubt I would even be able to comprehend the fear and worry she may be feeling from that discovery. It makes me realize that the majority of my problems are petty. I'll keep reading her blog for updates... I know nothing about her (yet), but I hope she will be alright.