No Title Given
I just blew up at Alan. I mean, really. I just get so furious sometimes. I can't even talk to him anymore during the week. Having some form of contact with him means everything to me, and I really have no choice to be ok with not having it. Tonight, we were supposed to be able to spend the afternoon talking. I got off work an hour early, and when I got home, Alan informed me that his parents were talking him out to dinner and a movie, to celebrate him getting a (anchoring) new job. He made a comment, "i never get to go out or do anything with my parents, though." I responded, "Yeah, there are many things you never get to do." He had to leave at 6 to do this thing with his parents, and said we had an hour to talk. That seems so nice, but he always defines how long we have to talk. Almost as if he values the time, and plans to take up every minute of it with enlightening conversation. Yet, he never does. This time, he spent a large hunk of our hour of talking time talking to someone who came to his front door - and they were there to see his sister, not him. I was left waiting in front of my lap top, IMing him "Please, pretty please" for him to talk to me. Alan always does this. There's always something more interesting to do, like fixing his computer, or cleaning his room, or something, all while he is proclaiming that this time for us to talk. It's like I'm not interesting enough. I fussed at him for always saying "sorry", and for always having a reason to say it. I told him I was sick of hearing that word all the time, like a quick excuse. If you're so sorry, then why do you do it again and again? I asked him, "How can conversation in a relationship mean to little to you?" He didn't answer it. He just apologized for being such a horrible boyfriend. Then he left for the thing with his parents. I told him to have a great time.