Hooplah.Org

I want this girl‘s motivation and talent. I think it’s ironic that she has so many layouts that are so different and origional, and so many different ones… I mean, people can even chose a favorite! That’s a real concept for me, considering that most people would be amazed at the fact that I actually had past layouts at my domain. I’ve only come up with two layouts for my crappy domain since October 1999. Crystal kicks ass.

Someone link this blog! Dear god, someone humor me!

Site ref stats are so depressing. “Ohh, look, an address of another blog,” [click] “… but they got here through a webring.” Freaking webrings. Please, someone love me.

I’m bored.

I had to go into work a 1/2 hour early. Terry had called me while I was in the shower, and shortly after I finished putting on my makeup, my father informed me that he has just listened to the message that Terry had left. She had wanted me to come in an hour early, but a 1/2 hour was the best I could do, since it was 1:18 by the time I was informed. Oh well. Good enough.

Work was exhausting. I was also treated with rumors about the 4th of July weekend which is, gasp, tomorrow. As an average, the store grosses about 1/2 a million dollars in that weekend alone. They are crazy busy, and I work 5 hours tomorrow, and 9 hours on Sunday. It’s going to hurt.

I also found out that two of my friends, who shall remain nameless because they are shy little kinks, have done it. They’ve been together for almost a year, but still. It’s been a big mystery between me and Sandy, because these two people keep so much distance between each other in public, and the girl of the relationship is SO damn conservative. It’s almost an end of childhood experience to realize she’s not pure anymore. Wharps my mind like a crazy trip, man.

Vince e-mailed me, explaining that he had recently acquired a motorcycle, and proposed that maybe me and him could have a visit with each other. That would be great. It’s been more than a year since I’ve seen him, and I’ve missed him. I used to be able to crack him up. I loved being around him. He’s a great person. Definitely missed him. Definitely. I’m glad he’s happy again, with his new girlfriend Jen.

Alan is probably on his way to work. I sort of feel sorry for him. For the past 24 hours, I don’t think he’s had more than 6-7 hours of sleep, if he’s lucky. Real lucky. That’s a big difference for someone who is used to having 10 hours of sleep just to get by. I really think he’s just burning himself out for no reason. If he had stayed home until his college course were over, he’d be able to walk into any business and get a job, a GOOD paying job. Once he got his microsoft certification, or whatever it is. He wouldn’t need to spend time going around sleepless and tired like he is now. I don’t understand him. I just don’t.

And I suppose I’ll have to get used to not talking to him. I seriously doubt he will get that time off in July to accompany me to Myrtle Beach. I seriously doubt he will ever have any time off. When he was working 2 jobs before, he had internet access at one of them. We were able to talk then. Now, of course, there is no time and no opportunity. And things are going to suffer. And I feel really cheated because of this. This year has been horrible for me. I’ve been clinging on to nothing, surviving off of nothing, and no one cares how it makes me feel. No one shows any form of caring. No one has asked me, “is this ok?” Is it selfish of me to want to be worked into his life? Is it selfish of me for me to want him to consider me in the decisions he makes? Is it selfish of me to want to be the first priority?

Bored out of my mind, and getting ready for dreaded work. Alan did not sign on at all last night, so I did not miss him, and he did not read my e-mail. I think today may mark the 2 week mark (!) of how long I have been blogging. Yippie yippie. I have to go finish putting on my makeup.

I give up. Goodnight.