No Title Given
I wish I could come here and gush about some mindless event in my day that for some reason made me happy. And I could explain every little detail, so that I can keep that memory for as long as I still come to this journal. Something happy and annoyingly cheerful. Maybe that can be possible soon. I've discovered that from my past experiences with petty heartbreaks and various disappointments over the past few years, I've gotten rather good at just tucking bad feelings away. It may not seem like it to those who witness it when some of those feelings seep through my fingers. That can be fixed.
My father just came into my room holding a copy of an e-mail he received that he thought was important enough to waste paper to print out. He held it out in front of him, looking at it as if he was about to say something important and smart, and basically informed me we have an uptight ISP. We have two different subscriptions for internet access; one is earthlink.net, which my father got for himself, and the other is AOL, which is mine. About a year or so ago, I realized that I could save about $11 on our AOL bill if I used earthlink.net to connect to the AOL features. And everything was doing fine. But when I got this lap top, I continued using the earthlink.net and AOL combination. So, at some times, both me and my father would be connected to the same earthlink.net account, just on different computers. And so, earthlink.net contacted my father to inform him that if we continued doing so, they would have to start charging us a dollar an hour for such behavior. It's apart of some stupid ass conditions they have.
And of course, my father acts as if he had no knowledge of me using the earthlink.net/AOL combination, and starts whining like a little child, like always does when he yells. He starts fussing that all he knew was that they got AOL for me and earthlink.net for himself. Yadda yadda yadda. I told him I was just trying to save him money as he leaves, and he yells back "You didn't save me any money!" I quickly replay "yes I did," and so on and so on, until I couldn't hear him respond anymore. He's such a child. An annoying, provoking child.
I had never actually done any online shopping until I got my guinea pigs, and both me and my mother realized that there wasn't enough products being sold in local stores. So we went to petopia.com. I love this site, as it also has many different informative articles on almost every kind of pet... And we've spent about $200 there buying cages and play pens for the pigs. Waiting for the stuff to arrive gives me something to look forward to.
I have a friend... A good friend... Whom I've known for about a year or so. Not very long. It was back in 1998, and at the time, me and Alan had only been together for about 3-4 months. Me and him were barley talking then. And during that time, I had found this new friendship.
I always had fun in their company... Mainly because I noticed I acted a little different around him then I did with most anyone else. I couldn't make anyone else laugh as much as him. And eventually feelings got hot on one side. I guess it was understandable, we enjoyed each other's company. But of course, someone ended up getting burned. My relationship with Alan soon became stronger, and my friend also found someone else. He moved, and then went to college. And we haven't really kept in touch since, expect for the random instant message every now and then.
I've been having dreams about that person... I can't really remember what exactly goes on, just like with all my other dreams. It's just a presence that I'm aware of, you know? Maybe it's because I go to him for advice, and then I end up getting angry at how right he is. Maybe I'm just lonely. Maybe.
I am sick of not truly appreciating things until they are gone. And I'm sick of it being rubbed in my face over and over again. I'm tired of learning the same damn lesson over and over again. I've learned it... Haven't I? ... Any? ... At all?
Note: Timestamp of entry is not accurate.