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Click on the image to the left to see a picture of me taken on this day. (pop-up)
The picture for today isn't exactly all that flattering, but I've had a stressed out evening. Nothing is really going like I wanted.
I have taken my Virginia state tests, the "SOL's", and I think I did rather well. Based on the fact the material that we had covered in the class I knew. The rest, a good 25% of the test, where questions I just might have well as tried to make little designs with the answer bubbles then try to answer then as if I know.
All this past week I have been able to eat on the same lunch shift as all of my friends. Tuesday and Wednesday it was because my English teacher wanted extra library time, so we had to flip our lunch from lunch B (after 3rd block) to lunch A (before 3rd block.) Thursday and Friday was because of the SOL's, and the whole school had the same lunch shift, and it lasted 40 minutes. Almost just like it was my freshman year, and they had the 1 hour lunch that everybody went to. I miss having those sorts of things.
This evening I wanted to work on the flash I have planned on adding to my next layout of this site. Yes, it's true; I've actually come to a decision on a layout. I was just getting frustrated this afternoon that I could not find a decent background sound to add to it. Sigh. I can't really go into all that much detail about it. I want it to sort of be a surprise, or whatever.
It also seems that there has been an increased number of people who like the layout of this website... And though those comments are appreciated, they almost make me not want to create anything new. That what I do create might not live up to the standard of the previous version. That's very depressing.
I got a phone call from Alan tonight. The first thing he says is that I would probably get very upset at him. He said he was going to some LAN war, Local Area Network war, whatever that is, in Tenn. all weekend, and he would also be going out tonight. And of course, he was right, it upset me. I don't like him being away, and I don't like not talking to him. He is basically the only stable thing I have. I'll get pissy if he says anything to me that would result in that. And I especially don't like it if it's on short notice, like it was this evening. Even though he said himself that the news he had for me would upset me, he started getting hot and bothered because of how quiet I had become, and how "depressed" I sounded. Asking a lot of questions like "you're always angry whenever I call." Mainly because recently his phone calls are about how he's calling to tell me he's not going to be somewhere or doing something, or he's calling to make up for not being somewhere or doing something.
Maybe it doesn't bother him to be away from me all the time. That is what it seems like. And that is really the only thing I have constantly asked of him not do to. He could do anything else, except that. He works all of the time to "build a future for us." And that's nice and everything. But if there isn't any time for us now, there may not be a future for it. Maybe that sounds selfish. But he is not the one who feels like this all of the time. Then again, maybe this little paragraph is a little bit of me over reacting. But I am just fed up.