Hooplah.Org

Happy Birthday to me. Oh, and happy Thanksgiving as well.

I’m a little disappointed in myself. Though I think I had good reasons for the things I did today, the way I did them showed I really am a spoiled brat. Either that, or I let myself build up so much stress that it’s a wonder I didn’t have panic attacks over a broken nail.

This morning I woke up at 7:00 AM, all nice and refreshed from going to bed at 12:30 AM. (haha) Then I went into the kitchen with my mother and opened the presents she gave me. She gave me a new bracelet and matching ring, a new little hand-held mirror, and other whatnots. (That I also cannot spell.)

I was supposed to be at work at 9. 9-3. I honestly did not feel good, and had that sick feeling in the back of my throat. I think I could have gone to work like that if I really wanted. But, I started trying to get my mother to call in. To boil it all down, and to let me write as little details as possible, I went to my room and started throwing a huge fit over it. I was crying, and throwing stuff around. I was just so furious at work and my mother and everything I need the job for and all the reasons why I should quit and on and on.

I finally marched my childish ass into the kitchen and called work. I talked to Amiee. I was still almost crying, and I’m not sure if that had a good effect or not. I told her I didn’t think I would be able to come in, and there was a very, very long pause from her… If she were smart, she would think of the note I wrote in the request book to be off that day for “family affairs,” and maybe Shelly was there and told her how I had called yesterday asking if employees were entitled to not having to work on their birthday, and so on and so on.

Eventually she asked why. I told her I had been puking. And I quickly interrupted myself, because I knew I was sinking, and for some reason I volunteered to come in but get off at 12, or something like that. And also, if Amiee were smart, she would think I just wanted to be home in the afternoon. But, she thought about it, and said “No, you can just stay home.” Said in a very flat tone. I asked sheepishly, “Are you sure?” and she calmly said “Yeah, we’re not that busy.” Later, my mother went to Food Lion, and there was an average of 4 people in all the lines. Anything more than 3 in one line is busy.

Since I’ve already called in sick once this week, and because of all the times I asked to be off today, I think Amiee either fired me or suspended me. Funny, I think I was saying the same thing on Sunday. I’m going to go in tomorrow to see if my name is still there for Saturday. If it were just up to me, I would be hoping that it wouldn’t be. But I pay for this domain with my pay check.

Only 2 more days until my 17th birthday.

A pretty early journal message. Just because I really have nothing better to do. Yesterday I did write a journal message, but it was unfinished and I was too lazy to upload it. But it’s up now.

Today sucked ass. First period was alright; first period is always alright. It’s good to see that my sub sub teacher is getting used to his new job, the more money he’s getting for it, and the better window view. Second period was just second period. Lots of talk about god, some about accounting, and I got to ease drop on a conversation between a girl names Beth and Mr. Harner about how 2 gay men came into her church over the weekend. And of course that included great detail on how everyone in the church responded, and what they both Beth and Mr. Harner thought of it themselves.

Third was just boring.

Fourth. History. This is the class where I’m the teacher’s pet, and she tries to joke around with me and what not. Today we had a review sheet for a test tomorrow, and my friend Jason insisted on grouping with me, basically just to use me for what I know. Well, he was a little feisty, and was trying to play around and joke with me. It was all childish, really. He took my chap stick and twisted the bottom until all the contents ended up smutched inside of the cap. My chap stick is holy ground for me, so I decided to make a little joke about it, and try to smear some of the goop on him. But of course he had to walk all around the room, and move around, and everything. So when I finally sat down, my teacher just starred at me and asked “Do you need to go to SMR?” and all that stupid shit, which is my school’s version of a time out. She said she was used to Jason doing it, but not me, and asked if I could settle this there in the classroom or in SMR. I mean, damn. I never knew Mrs. Green was a bitch.

Sigh. Boring boring boring. I got a package from Alan today. It contained his old camera, the new Savage Garden CD, and my plane tickets. I actually like the Savage Garden CD more than I do any of the others I bought on Friday. Surprising. And the camera is good; I’m thinking of including a picture with each journal entry, and maybe adding a movie on me in the “Mistress” area. Yeah. I’ve got plans.

Only 3 more days until my 17th birthday.

I stayed home from work today. I was sick. My stomach was bothering me. Bad. But it always does, I have IBS. I had my mother call in, and though it took a lot of “this is your responsibility”‘s and what not, she finally did. But I was not trying to avoid it. I just know for a fact that if I call in, a stereotypically assumed “lazy teen” by many-a-manager there, I would no doubt be suspended by saying I couldn’t because I was sick. But if my mother, who is a higher power than me, and who also probably wouldn’t lie for me, calls in it may be taken as fact, and they will just accept it. To sweeten the deal, when my mother went in Food Lion later to pick up some things, she stopped to talk to a manager, Amiee in fact, and explained to her my whole IBS thing. Yeah. She was told.

I loved just being home on a Sunday. I requested Sunday off when I first started working, and I’ll be damned if she didn’t put all of my hours on Sunday. On Saturday she has be working things like 5 to 10 PM, but on Sunday, it’s 2:45 to 9:30, and what not. Just enough time to get up, eat, clean up, and come to work. Damn bitch.

Me and Alan had one of those “break threws” on Saturday, or whatever. That morning he said he was going to help a friend at his job, but he would be back at 12. I sat here until 3:45 waiting, and then I had to leave to get ready for work. I hate that. I hate waiting. I can’t stand it. And when I finally signed on after work, I was not pleased. And he had a lot of “I’m sorry”‘s. Like he always does with those kinds of situations.

I said a lot of things Saturday that I don’t really think I’ve said, not even too much to myself. And everything that ever comes out of my mouth I have thought about before. I just have a huge library in my mind of pointless shit to say. But everything was different. Which means I spent a lot of time being “quiet” while I tried to form it into an understandable sentence. It all worked out well, I guess.

Only 5 more days until my 17th birthday.

Hey, I’m getting pretty good at this updating stuff. Mmm-hmm. Yesterday was a wasted day. I spent most of my afternoon finishing up that story I finished and posted yesterday, which after reading it tonight made me realize I probably should have waited and read it over and edited it some more. Oh well, I guess. I was just bored in the first place, that’s the whole reason why I did. Because Alan, once again, super promised that he would be online yesterday, and chose to get a piece for a computer from a friend instead. I’ve had many talks about how that kind of shit makes me feel. I’ve told him in more detail than I would have liked. And when he’s given enough time to forget the little things I say, he does it again.

But today he got pay back. I decided to go out with Stephen and just find ways to blow my pay check. I ended up getting a new watch, which is a lemon and sucks all together and I have to take it back. I also bought 3 CD’s: The new Foo Fighters, Bush, and Eurythmics. Yeah. It was cool. Stephen got a Lords of Acid CD, I think. I can’t remember everything.

There’s this one song on the Eurythmics’ CD that I love. And since I really have nothing else to write, I’m going to quote it. You can probably guess I like depressing music.

I’ve Tried Everything

The truth of life is the greatest gift


But I don’t think I can make it fit

And who would guess it would come to this

When I’ve tried everything

And I should know but I can’t explain

The endless noise sounding in my brain

Who would’ve thought

That you could feel such pain

When you’ve tried everything

Yeah you’re a loser now

You’re a loser now

I should be cool

But I’m burning hot

I should be good

But I fell apart

Don’t look at me now don’t even start

Cause I’ve tried everything

Yeah… you’re a loser now

Yeah… You’re a loser now.

I found out today that my first period teacher quit. She wasn’t even really supposed to be teaching it — she was just kind enough to take over the class for the real teacher who, because of OCHS’s genius planning, had him in the off campus classroom for Hornet Technologies in the mornings. Though she didn’t know a damn thing of what she was doing, she tried. She is one of those “push over” teachers, though, which students take advantage of. They never listened to anything she asked them to do, and actually did things to make her angry. I was in her first block, and I can say that they were not that bad. It was her second block that made her quit, which had countless teachers sitting in on the class to see if she was telling the truth about how bad they were. And though she was, nothing was done. I now have a sub teacher for the rest of the semester, who is really very cool. I doubt we will be able to do as many things and get away with as much, but he is cool regardless. I feel sorry for my old teacher, though. She didn’t deserve to be treated like that.

Anything else? Let’s see. At work, I did good. I pissed off a lot of people for who knows why, but other then that, it was good. I got to leave 2 hours early because things were so slow there. Also, I was perfect when my money was counted at the end of the day. No over, no under. I loved that. Yeah. I’ve had a pretty good evening.

I did something today that I haven’t done in ages: I told someone off. And damn, did it feel good. I haven’t done that in so long. When I get angry enough, I actually become a quick thinker and get a little smarter… My mind quickens, and usually that’s when I start getting hot flashes, and then I get hyped up… Just a lot of ticking until I totally explode.

Though I don’t really think the topics we were talking about were worth all of the trouble, I am still proud of this conversation, and hell yeah, I’m going to post it here. Names have been changed of course. The sad part about this was that this girl used to be one of the few “design circle” friends that I had made and had kept for a while. But I don’t like it when someone attacks what I think or how I do things, whether the majority of people think it or not.

bitch101: hey, how do you navigate at your domain?
CHRlSY: Click on “navigation,” and a little menu should come down.
bitch101: ohh ok thanks
bitch101: where does it say navigation?
CHRlSY: .. In the upper left.
bitch101: not on my computer…
CHRlSY: What browser are you using?
bitch101: i wish you didn’t have that stupid right click disabler, then i could view the source
bitch101: 800×600
CHRlSY: I don’t want my background images taken.
CHRlSY: What browser are you using?
bitch101: IE 4
CHRlSY: I think it may not work with that version. I have a friend with the same one and they can’t see it either.
bitch101: I doubt alot of people know about your domain yet, so they may not steal anything. who cares, just leave it off at the top nav. part
CHRlSY: … I don’t want to. I don’t want anyone taking that code, either.
bitch101: did you make that bg?
CHRlSY: I found the image and then made it.
CHRlSY: The one of the women and the man.
bitch101: well then it isn’t yours, so it doesn’t matter if anyone steals it. and anyone can make an “Unpretty.net” image, and why would they steal yours if their site isn’t named unpretty.net?
CHRlSY: Do not get snotty with me. Just because you can’t right click and look at my code doens’t give you any right to get angry and shake a finger at me.
bitch101: Well I wanted to look at your domain, and I obviously can’t with that stupid right clicker, and you didn’t answer my question. Why? Is it true? I think yes.
CHRlSY: You didn’t ask any question that required an intelligent response. You just started jumping on me about the right clicker and my images.
bitch101: your images? the only image that is yours is the “Unpretty.net” one, the other one you found and used.
CHRlSY: See?
CHRlSY: Jumping all in my shit.
bitch101: see what?
bitch101: <frameset cols=”100, 350″ border=”0″> <frameset rows=”50, 413″> <frame src=”la.html” scrolling=”no”> <frame src=”nav.html” scrolling=”no”> </frameset> <frameset rows=”77, 386″> <frame src=”top.html” scrolling=”no”> <frame src=”index2.html” marginwidth=30 marginheight=30 name=”chit”> </frameset></frameset>
CHRlSY: You’re stuck on the stupid images. I spent my time on them, I edited them, which makes them something I created. I improved it from it’s origional form. And I don’t really care what else you have to say about that.
bitch101: lookie lookie, your whole frame source.
CHRlSY: Wow, you can look at my frameset.
CHRlSY: Any idiot can do that.
bitch101: ya, so the right clicker is just annoying, if that’s why you’re trying to do, then yay. otherwise it’s pointless.
CHRlSY: I don’t care if you see that, either.
CHRlSY: There’s no big surprises.
bitch101: you’re missing the point.
CHRlSY: I don’t care what you think of it. Obviously you’ve gotten fustrated one too many times that you could right click and take something from someone else. I don’t care how useless you think it is, because I think it’s working pretty damn good for you to get all upset about it.
bitch101: It isn’t working, no one is going to steal that ugly picture anyway. Who cares? You obviously care way too much about it. Jeez, not like it’s yours in the first place. If you actually want visitors at your domain you might want to make it viewable for everyone. Alot of people use IE4, 800×600
bitch101: speechless?
CHRlSY: The 800×600 had nothing to do with it, hun. Just so you know. I understand perfectly what you’re saying, so please stop repeating yourself. Just because I chose superior code for your browser doesn’t mean I should change it. It’s a free download, it doesn’t hurt. Cutting down my picture doesn’t make me feel bad, just so you know. Just shows me you’re resulting to some pathetic tactics to get me more angry. And yeah, I do care. I don’t see how that could possibly be a problem. No, I am not speechless, I just happen to have a crappy ISP.
bitch101: right…
CHRlSY: Great response. I’m bored with you.

I was mighty pissed. I don’t like it when I am attacked by someone. Not at all. But it felt good to let myself go, and prove to myself that I actually can have quick responses… That I’m not getting stupid, or whatever.