No Title Given
Damn. Time goes by so fast. I guess I should make a response to my last journal entry. But uhm... I'm not really wanting to. I don't like being wrong, I don't like over reacting, I don't like being so paranoid... But he was just busy for those couple of days he was gone. He was everywhere but home.
I actually called him on Sunday out of desperation... And that would probably seem like a bigger event if anyone knew how bad I am about calling someone if I don't have a specific time to call. I hate that. I hate it so much. I need an "ok to go" kind of thing. I haven't been able to pick up the phone and call out of no where without having to force myself, and have my heart race. Should I be worried about that?
But anyway. His reaction to it wasn't really that big. Not as big as it was to me. Maybe that's part of the reason why I've had a little bitch over the past few days. He was nice enough to try to call 2 different times yesterday, and though I don't take full responsibility for it, I'll admit I was "abnormally irritable." Everything I said just blurted out. And during the second phone call, I'm not sure why, but I was surprised when I actually made him angry enough to change his tone. Then, when I was already feeling bad about what I had done/was doing, he started saying "You're making me feel bad." He always says that... And it always feels like he's blaming me.
Argh. I still have stuff to catch up on... But that's all I feel like writing. I'm always so tired now, either that or I'm doing homework. It sucks ass. Maybe tomorrow.